the future...

when i think about the future i get so scared
soon ill be finished school and ill have to find something else to do to fill my time.
im scared of growing up, of getting out into the world on my own, i dont want to have to make my own decisions.
oh gawsh the future is a scary place, and i dont want to go there just yet.
i guess we all get older, if we are living it is inevitable. it scares me that i look back and remember thinking "wow in 6 years ill be 18 and in year 12" it used to excite me...now im a month from being 18 (and im still friggin excited haha) but being in year 12 is the scariest place ive ever been. holding my breath while waiting for sac marks hoping that i did okay.

but this bulletin really started because i dont want the next week to go by.....next weekend something is going to happen. if this happened three months ago i would have been overjoyed but now im hesitant...because i know whats going to happen. well, i guess there are two possibilites....and im really not even sure which possibility is better anymore.
it kills me...you kill me....dont let next weekend come :/