Please read and help me out: after watching today's La Ink cancer episode today....

mum and i sat down and had a talk about cancer and all the different ways it has affected people we know.

My mum had a cancer scare this year, and although she hasn't kept me or my siblings updated with it, we know it has touched our family.

So after watching the episode, instead of studying for my exams, i have been sitting on the internet researching cancer, and causes, and treatments and organisations that help spread the awareness of cancer.

For me I can't go past Skate4Cancer. The founder Rob Dyer was on the episode of La Ink and I did a heap of research into the organisation.

Check out the website here http://skate4cancer.com/

Unlike most other organisations i have come across, Skate4Cancer isnt interested in making money, but instead spreading awareness, especially to young people. B skating across countries (he did Australia Nov 09 to Feb 10) Rob and his team help to let people everywhere know about ways to prevent cancer and spread awareness of the disease.

They also hold a music event called "The Cure Is Knowledge" which has been to Canada and will be in Europe soon.

THIS IS THE REASON FOR MY POST !

Sometime next year i want to put on a show in Melbourne in support of Skate4Cancer. I want to get bands, people, organisations involved. I wanted to get a basic idea whether anyone would actually be interested in it before i contact Skate4Cancer and see what the deal would be. So if you could please repost this and spread the word so i can gauge interest that would be fantastic !

Thank you so much !

Dream. Love. Cure.

"We may not raise enough money to change the world, but we may be able to raise enough people to change the world. So spread the word!"

Application for the SEEK ARIAs A-List Party Patroller - A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME

IF YOU COULD PLEASE TAKE 10 SECONDS OUT OF YOUR TIME TO DO THIS FOR ME IT WOULD BE SOSOSO COMPLETELY AMAZING, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS VOTE AND I COULD WIN AN EXPERIENCE THAT WOULD MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE

Application for the SEEK ARIAs A-List Party Patroller vacancy, made by Ohaii. Pixiie

IT WOULD MEAN THE ABSOLUTE WORLD TO ME....

moved to tumblr....

i havent been on here for a while as i have moved my blog to tumblr.com

its a lot easier to post a variety of things etc etc

if you have a tumblr follow me, im always looking for new blogs to check out....

www.ohaiipixiie.tumblr.com

=D catch xx

remembering what is hardest to forget...

i’d give anything in the world to take back everything i ever said to you,

to erase from my memory everything you ever said to me,

to forget ever knowing you,

to elimininate everything i ever felt for you.

because if you hadnt existed in my life i wouldnt be sitting here wishing i still meant something to you. it sucks when the past creeps back into the future and you realise something that you had pushed aside never actually went away.

and i will sit here and tell everyone that i dont care about you anymore, and that you didnt mean half as to much to me as you actually did (as you still do). i will tell myself i dont need you anymore and that i can forget you the way you have forgotten me.

but the truth is no matter how far from your mind i am you still own a piece of me, and no matter how much you dont want it i dont know how to take it back.

i am a mess and i miss you….

welcome to capetown;

so im actually looking forward to tomorrow night. it's elizzibizzle's 18th and because she is all cute and quirky the theme is 'cape's'! How adorable ^__^!

Tomorrow bianka and i have to wake up super early and catch the bus to watergardens to get material and for the first time since turning 18 buy alcohol haha.

It shall be a good night full of drunken laughs and moments. Hopefully i dont have anymore secrets to spill this time.

I may try and kiss Jean again though haha.

I will surely post some photos of our cute capes and drunken antics in the next few days.

But for me now it is goodnight.
Ciao blogspot!

wasting moments waiting for you;

and how am i meant to keep you off my mind when you are the topic of everyone around me's conversation?!?!

My mum= was he out on saturday night?
My brother=did you hang out with him at bang?
My sister= he told me i looked good on saturday night, etc etc
My best friend= he has gotten so hot.

Etc etc etc.

I seriously cant handle it. Im trying to forget i have feelings for you so i can go back to be happy and okay with my life and all i can think about is how much you are trying to be in everyone else's life while pushing yourself out of mine.

I regret so badly ever admitting to you i had feelings for you because then maybe we could still be normal.

Eh this is shit -_-

writer's block;

i wish i had the motivation to update this regularly. not really for anyone else but mainly for myself. there is so much going on in my head at the moment and im finding it so hard to categorise and figure out.

so much of my time is spent trying to unjumble my thoughts that i havent really spent that much time thinking about them.

im just so confused with where everything is going.

i keep surprising myself in strange and sometimes good ways though lately.

im still cant believe that my drunken self revealed to everyone that i have feelings for him. truthfully those feelings have existed for a good year now, on and off, and no body ever knew (or so i though anyway) and this made me happy because i could do whatever the hell i wanted. but now they are out in the open and they can hurt me, and ohgawsh they do hurt me.

then there is the situation with her. and the fact that i know she is still being nice to me for a reason that has nothing to do with wanting to be my friend. and lately i have thrown away bitchy gloria and decided to try and see the better in people before wanting to hurt them. and im trying so very hard to see the good in this situtation, but all i see is her rubbing this "thing" with him in my face in various sublte and not-so-subtle ways.

and the whole "sexuality" argument has come up again. some would say i am 18 and should therefore now where my sexuality lies, but the truth is i am so confused i dont even know anymore. i know i like boys, i like boys a lot, but i also like girls, just not as much. gosh i am so confused. this confusion has led to me being called: a straight girl pretending to like girls because i think it's cool, a lesbian trying to make myself like boys so i can fit in, a slut, an idiot, a freak among many things. 3 years ago i would have called myself bisexual, but the stigma attached with it is so negative im not even sure anymore

and my final paragraph is good. last night i went clubbing for the first time. i was a bit afraid to do this as i am super socially awkward and i cant talk to people i dont know. seeing as nonw of my close friends are 18 i was going out with the freeza crew. but something came over me last night, even before the alcohol. i got dressed up and did my hair and makeup and i actually felt pretty, that feeling was amazing. so i went out and i spoke to people i hadnt met before, i even started conversations. i think im going to be okay at this whole socialising thing. haha

ergh on a final note, i hate that when im a little intoxicated the only place that i want to be is with him. i got so excited when i saw him arrive last night and i guess it hurt, because ive been trying to make myself believe that whatever i think i feel for him is make believe...not happening. and when i get intoxicated i am so affectionate and all i want to do is hug him, and touch him, and kiss him....the last one probably never going to happen. but i did kiss a very good looking boy last night =)

haha anyway goodnight blog

list as...im bored :/

CROSS OUT THE THINGS YOU'VE DONE:
Graduated High School
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown in a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Dangerously close to being in jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away

hours spent sleeping are only hours wasted....

bleh everything feels so wrong at the moment
yet i am more content with the direction my life is going then ever before.
i feel as if im finally shedding my skin, getting rid of the old, useless Gloria and growing into a better one.
im not going to pretend that i dont regret many of my recent actions, but i can't dwell on those mistakes, all they do i bring me down.

Almost half of my year 12 year has gone past, and i am finally 18. It is scary just how fast this year has gone and just how quickly i am growing up.

There are only 138 days until 'Muck Up' Day.
fuck that is scary. in 138 days the routine i have known for 13 years will be over.
i'm not sure what i'll even do with my life. Well i know ill be going to uni...but the world of university seems much bigger and entirely different to the world i am in at the moment.

it it true what people say. the days of a year 12 student dont involve much sleep at the end. most days i am living on no more then 3 or 4 hours sleep. Especially as it is coming up to the end of semester and the SACs are piling on. thank god im not 'smart' enough to do a science. no mid years for me =D

Although, i cant complain. Year 12 is going rather splendidly for me. i am doing better in all my subjects then i ever thought i would. i'd like to do a bit better in english, but im getting A's so i should be alright.

138 days and counting.....

i want one of these....

tattooed on my left thigh!

in a little over a month i shall have my cassette tape on my right thigh and then i want one of these Sylvia Ji artworks next to it.

She is amazing and these two are my favourites that i have come across so far.

let me know what you think or if you know any artists that do similar work :)

Only 11 more sleeps...

these are the last 11 days of gloria's life where she will be underage.
EEPP! i am so goddamn excited!
i just want to hurry up and be 18 already ^__^!
i hope its as good as everyone makes it out to be..because i am uber excited to finally go out and stuffs!
Although i am a bit nervous, as i am not the most sociable person.
Like get me in a room with a zillion people i know, and i am fine, i could probably talk to leg off a chair, however try and get me talking to someone i am just meeting and my self conscious issues creep in and i become a nervous awkward freak :/
hopefully it will just get easier!

however...woow 11 sleeps :D

THE AMITY AFFLICTION TOUR VIDEOS....

ARE GETTING ME SUPER EXCITED FOR JUNE 18TH
GET EXCITED WITH ME?

HERE IS THE LATEST TOUR DIARY...CLINT IS CHATTING IT UP (y)!



its a tad cut off and i dont know how to make my blog bigger so here is the link....check check check it out :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mPry4QxzU

THE AMITY AFFLICTION!

so lets just say im more than a little bit excited for youngbloods to be released. It would have to be my most awaited album of the year, and im even more excited for the tour.
Sarah and I are heading to both Melbourne shows and the show in Bendigo so its going to be ssiicckkk!

CHECK OUT THE TOUR DATES AND GET DOWN TO A SHOW!!!

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id shed my skin if you were willing to see me...

im not quite sure what that means...


ill sing you a song you will never hear,
and ill whisper words that wont reach your ear,
i'll draw you a picture you will never see,
and ill map out the way to get to me.
I'll blow you kisses you will never feel,
and touch you in ways id wish were real,
id hold you all night till the sun came back,
and kiss your cheek as you took a nap.
Id be everything you wanted,
you are everything i need,
but you can never be here,
Because you'll never see me.

if you wanted a blog written about you, all you had to do was ask...

and i promised my self i wouldn't spend this weekend crying about you but just like every promise ever made to me..it always gets broken

i know you will never read these words
and even if you did i know you wouldn't care

but i wish i could get the feeling back
the one you gave me.
you were the only person in the history of forever who made me feel beautiful and so quickly you took that feeling away...i hate you for doing that, i want that feeling back.

i want so badly for you to be back in my life
the way it was before
id stay up every night just to talk to you
and wake up in the morning just to read the cute things you'd left for me

you used to tell me i was beautiful and for the first time in forever i actually believed it, because i believed you...i believe everything you'd ever told me. how foolish i can be

now i sit here crying because i cant stop thinking about you.....i have waited so long for today and i knew it'd only bring disappointment but i never expected it'd feel like this...i didn't think you still meant that much to me....

food for my hungry thoughts...

I was just reading some posts on (if your are closed minded I wouldn’t bother reading)

but the stuff presented is actually rather interesting. The web bot predictor post is probably the one that got me thinking the most thus far..especially about the data gap from early 2012 to may 2013....made me think heaps!

Ill quickly summarise that psrt. However, no matter what your beliefs are i do urge you to check out this site....it does provide a large amount of food for thought. A lot of what is presented doesnt match up with my beliefs but it is still always interesting to read about what other people believe and have found out.

The web bot is a technology that was discovered by Cliff High and George Ure. They claim it is able to predict future events by tracking keywords entered on the Internet. Originally it was created to predict stock market trends, but in 2001 they saw what they called a large "tipping point" that lasted for about six hours with a "release period" of about five days. The date was September 11th. From that moment on, they decided to dedicate their lives to improving the Web Bot's ability to predict the future. They say the Web Bot is correct a little more than 50 percent of the time.

Two future predictions for 2010 are:
-November 11th, 2010 - The web bot warns of a big tipping point possibly World War III
-December 14th, 2010 - The web bot predicts the first missile launch of World War III

There doesnt seem to be any catalyst for World War III, but im just posting things that fascinated me. The prediction that really drew my attention was the catastrophe set to begin early 2012 and end may 2013. Between this period of time there is a data gap. The belief of the write for this data gap is the next geomagnetic storm, the last was in 1859. If this is true then the entire world will be left without any electricity. That means no power to run lighting, tv, straighteners, computers, BASICALLY the majority of things we now rely on around the world.

read about it if you are even the slight bit fascinated....it is actually rather interesting. whether we choose to believe is a different story...

you can crush me, so please dont crush me...

you are just two people filling eachother's void for human attention and affection. Dont trick yourself into believing it is much more that, its impossible for it to be.

You are just two kids who long to be loved and therefore you have created the illusion of it, and in the fear of it dwindling away you will fight so powerfully to keep that illisuion there. Oh how i hate the over use of 'i love you' these days. It used to mean something, now its thrown around by every love sick teeanger who has been in a relationship for a few days.

And i see the path you are taking, you have walked this path so many times before, the path just had a different face, this road a different name. And i know the way it will end, you throw yourself into these things too quickly. And how can you say ' i love you' and then go and do the other things you do....dont worry honey i want rat you out!

But when you are done playing magician maybe you can sink back to planet earth for a while.....

sarah and i

get ourselves into the most ridiculous situations and we choose to do rather random things. from a simple little game we have now created a challenge for ourselves.
im not saying what it is...but oh how fun it shall be

oh god the shit we come up with...

and this week...

will show me the truth i have been waiting to see for a while now....

it will disappoint me in one of two ways
the feeling is inevitable...

i wish i could forget you
i really wish i'd stop trying!

i like my coffee black just like my metal...

So, my massive beef at the moment is something that is pretty important to me and it has to do with the condition of our local music scene in Melbourne and how ever so quickly we are losing it.

Being someone who organises gigs i can symapthize with the bands that are saying no one is coming out to their shows because i can assure you, it is true!

If you can say you love a band and you can buy, or probably download, their album/s and you can tell everyone how much you love them and you can post their lyrics in your bulletins and statuses etc...then why the fuck cant you get down to one of their shows...its as simple as that. Bands livelihoods revolve around playing shows and seeing their fans (because that is what you call yourselves) watching them. Most of these bands play shows that cost no more than 20 dollars, but you will find a lot of the gigs, especially if they are with FReeZA committees, are going to be free or pretty close to that anyway. So go and get ten bucks and go and see a local show. Not only is it a lot of fun but the bands and organisors love it :)

words of the past ring true in my future....

reading over my old posts remembering the way i used to feel and i realise i havent made much progress.
i still feel the same hurting i did before, the hurting has just taken on a new face.
there is one blog i wrote that i still completely relate to, and i liked it....have a read if you wish...

http://itsgloriaa.blogspot.com/2009/11/worst-feeling.html

the future...

when i think about the future i get so scared
soon ill be finished school and ill have to find something else to do to fill my time.
im scared of growing up, of getting out into the world on my own, i dont want to have to make my own decisions.
oh gawsh the future is a scary place, and i dont want to go there just yet.
i guess we all get older, if we are living it is inevitable. it scares me that i look back and remember thinking "wow in 6 years ill be 18 and in year 12" it used to excite me...now im a month from being 18 (and im still friggin excited haha) but being in year 12 is the scariest place ive ever been. holding my breath while waiting for sac marks hoping that i did okay.

but this bulletin really started because i dont want the next week to go by.....next weekend something is going to happen. if this happened three months ago i would have been overjoyed but now im hesitant...because i know whats going to happen. well, i guess there are two possibilites....and im really not even sure which possibility is better anymore.
it kills me...you kill me....dont let next weekend come :/

one day i will find this feeling....

“Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.”

Realization...

...i can assure you, you were never a friend of mine.

for so long its been about him, and before it was about him, there were other assholes just like him that took my heart and then tried to give it back before i was ready.

but a few days ago i realized there has been someone who has been there through it all...someone who my heart longed for but my mind tried to pretend it didn't want.
i think this is because out of every boy I've ever longed for this boy is the most unattainable.

lately when i see him i get butterflies.....not those big angry mean ones, but little cute ones right at the pit of my stomach.

i know he isn't the sort of boy that would look at me the way i look at him....but its fun to pretend that maybe he might.

realization is a bitch...because it forces you to accept those little things you have been trying to hide, the parts of your thoughts you fight to forget and pretend they never popped into existence.

...but now i long for the day when your arms will be around me and it'll mean more than friendship....


...i hope one day we can be more than friends...

Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again, you'll just come back running...

ps...that's a fucking amazing song

but anyway

I'm still trying to remember what it felt like to smile a real smile....
when id stay up all night talking to you
and then the next day id tell everyone about all the cute things you'd said
you were the first boy to make me feel beautiful in so long
and when you went away for the first time you took that feeling with you
again you left me feeling repulsive and ugly, i hate myself and i cant get past it

when you came back i thought you'd bring that feeling with you
but you havent
it feels different now
because im waiting for you to leave again
you always leave
and then you come back at your liesure
just when i think its ohkay to forget you

and now i cant forget you
and i wait up every night hoping you will text me
and some nights when ive waited long enough ill text you
and hope that you will reply

you keep telling me youve missed me
but you were the one that went away
and i am the stupid girl that lies awake crying every night because i cant forget you, and i cant forget the way it felt to feel beautiful

and i know im ridiculous for letting a stupid boy determine how i feel about myself....but when your self confidence is in negatives you will graps at anything to feel good about yourself

now only time will tell me when you will leave again....and another night will pass when ill believe all the stupid things you say...because my heart thinks you've missed me and my heart thinks you care....and soon enough my heart will find out the real truth.

The Day Zero Project- 101 Things In 1001 Days

i had an old list that i'd almost finished writing but never actually got around to completing....so im writing a new one and im going to start again.

Im staring a fresh and i want something to work towards :D

year 12 might just be the death of me....

this week i have gotten SAC results back for two of my subjects- legal studies and english. For both of these SACs i stressed my ass off, procrastinated and ended up cramming the night before. Somehow i got an /+ for legal and an A for english. I can only imagine how well i may have gone if i actually studied properly!

That is why, starting from next term, i am pulling my head out of my ass and studying proper.y i need better study habits and organisation if im actually going to do wlell this year!

and she leant over and whispered in my ear, this is where we'll stay my dear....

This past year has showed me just how grateful i am to have the people in my life i do have. These people all know who they are. Each one makes an impact on my life everyday. Today I was thinking about how grateful I am to have my friends and a quote my friend sent me popped into my head.

After a night of crying, I pretty much didn't know what else to do and I was sitting on facebook when I got a new message from Jean. Now Jean is probably one of the least serious people I have ever met....but the message she sent me made my tears go away and so I wanted to share it with everyone because it actually helped me a lot....

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too." - Lemony Snicket.

I love you, baby! Don't be sad :( If you ever need to wake up somebody in the middle of the night, I'm right beside you.

It would have to be one of the more beautiful things I've ever read...

So here is a thank you to the ones that make me smile...the ones that own my heart

Sarah Ashley Rita Hall...Jean Suyat...Bianka Brancatisano...Gemma Ratcliffe...Meg Doyle...Jessica DeFilippis...Rachel Kalenjuk...Rebecca Napoli, Nastassia Jones...Ally DeCesare...Carla DeCesare

And they told me curiosity killed the cat....

so i guess this blog is going to be a random verbal vomit of my days thinkings. lately everything i hear and see relates to love. but truely what is love and why is it so great?
for me the eternally single being love is my best friends. the girls that fill my days with smiles and laughter. the girls that make going to school just that little bit enjoyable. the girls i can say are close enough to be my sisters. for me that is as close to love as i know at this moment.

SOMETHING I WROTE IN A BLOG IN 2008...I JUST FOUND IT AND I REALISED IVE MADE NO PROGRESS AT ALL :(

l.o.v.e
a mere four letters of our alphabet
just one word
a word that in the 21st century has lost close to all meaning
the word love has become so overused, so meaningless all because people throw it around recklessly.

This word, love, is a word i have longed to hear for close to the 16 years of my life, not longed to hear not at all, just to hear it with the meaning it really should hold.

To be loved, not by a mother or a sister, but to be loved by someone who doesn't have to have any connection with you, but on their own accord chooses to.
What does that feel like?
Is it as amazing as it sounds, as amazing as everyone says?
or because of the overuse of the word and the lack of meaning those four letters now hold when they are put together, does it feel irrelevant, lacking the emotion that the word LOVE, and when it is made into a sentence I LOVE YOU should hold.

i await my chance to truly feel what that answer is.




Chapter Three-LOVE
A four letter word. When combined with two others becomes the phrase i have longed to hear for so long. I still long to hear it, for it to hold the meaning it truly should. I hope some time soon i will truly find it. 2008 didn't consist of me finding love, just longing for it. There were times when i wish i had no emotions, when, if it wouldn't lead to death, i would have taken a scalpel and cut my heart out of my chest just to stop that feeling we all associate with the heart. That feeling called love, or in my case, more of a like. Still i search for that feeling we call love, the feeling that evokes such an array of emotions in two people who find each other and share "love". Maybe someday soon LOVE will actually have a true meaning in society. its overuse has led to the word LOVE being meaningless. Maybe when LOVE really means what it is supposed to i will find it.

but through my thinking and pondering and wondering i decided to google love and see what various people have said...

WHAT THE DICTIONARY SAYS"
•a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; "his love for his
work"; "children need a lot of love"
•any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was her first love"; "he has
a passion for cock fighting";
•have a great affection or liking for; "I love French food"; "She loves her boss and
works hard for him"

SOME QUOTES I FOUND INTERESTING:
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." - Sophocles

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- Woody Allen, (haha just for fun)


so out of all this i still wonder what is love? and why is it so great?
i guess one day i may find out.
just the ponderings of a girl....

lara jade photography

i am 100 percent absolutely in love with her work
the way she captures the femal figure is amazing
and her artworks are so beautiful

you should check out her work at:
http://www.larafairie.deviantart.com/

or check her blog at:
http://larajadephoto.blogspot.com/

because we speak in pointless nothings....

so ive decided against deleting all my previous blogs.

Although i did read over it and realised that they do paint a rather bad picture of myself. This is why i have decided to post a blog telling you all a little bit about myself.
My full name is Gloria Brancatisano, my parents didnt believe in middle names.
Though i like the name Pixiie.....i wish more people called me it.
i am named after Gloria Estefan because she was my parent's favourite singer when i was born.
I was born on the 15th of May 1992, this makes me 18 very very soon.
i have a twin sister named bianka (not really with the k) she is a minute older than me.
this year i am in Year 12 and its freaking me out.
When i finish i hope to go to uni and study journalism.
i want to be a music journalist.
But as soon as my year 12 exams are over and i get back from schoolies i want to begin a piercing appreticeship.
i love tattoos and piercings, at the moment i dont have much of each.
Only both my ears stretched to a measley 10mm and my smiley done, but for my 18th im getting a medusa piercing.
i tried getting 'ALEX' tattooed in my lip but that was an epic fail, but as an 18th present (half from my best friend and half from myself) i am getting my thigh a tattoo. (ILL POST THE DESIGN WHEN IT IS FINALISED)
uumm i dont know what else to say.
im actually a pretty boring person.
i dont have any quirks or interesting facts that seperate me from the crowd.
Im just me: plain old simple Gloria.
i probably wont interest you from the get go,,,,and you might find me slightly obnoxious.
i have my own beliefs but i promise to accept yours.!
I am probably the most awkward and shy person you will ever meet, but you wont be able to tell through my writing.

ill add to this as it comes to me... :D

starting fresh

i feel as if i havent been here in a while. Like i havent had anything to say that would be even remotely worth saying but i feel as if i want to get back into blogging again....and this time properly. Im contemplating deleting all my old posts and starting a fresh but ill see as i go. However for tonight im going to go to sleep...but im going to try and post on here almost every day.

If you have blogspot follow me and ill follow you back :D

wasting moments on you...

i have lay here in this same position for god knows how many hours. Laying here reading over old messages from you. Words that used to keep me up at night smiling are tonight filling my eyes with tears. I hate that i cant let you go...no matter how far from your mind i am.
I believed every line you ever fed me now im stuck with this feeling.
I feel worthless and i hate you for making me this way. But moreso i hate myself for letting you mean so much to me.

I miss you and you were never really mine to miss in the first place...

2010...a new year!

2010 is a new year
and should very well hold open so many exciting new doors for me.
In no more than a few short weeks i will be embarking on the journey that is my year 12. A scary yet exciting school year awaits me. For me this is the year that i need to put 1000 percent of myself into....to get the marks i need to get into the courses i have been dreaming about for years!

In less than 4 months i will be 18. Finally i can get into overage gigs and get away from stupid scenie boppers....finally i can go to clubs and venues...and finally i can get my medusa piercing and start getting my tatts.

But still i see myself dropping back into old habits.self hate and loathing because i am not good enough. At almost 18 i look around and realise all my friends are girls. Never in my life have i had a boy to fall back on...maybe thats why i suck so bad at the whole 'boy' thing. It makes me laugh that i have spent countless hours crying trying to figure out the reasons why boys just dont like me...spent countless hours standing in the mirror highlihting all of my flaws. I am a failure and i suck at life.

I know i need to get out of the hole and focus on school...something that actually matters...but old flaws and opinions of myself haunt me like ghosts.
I dont know what to do.
Anyone wanna trade bodies? Haha!

And f